Tuesday, May 23, 2017

On Turning 17 (And Becoming a Dancing Queen)


One month and one day ago, I turned 17.  In the grand scheme of things, I suppose it isn't the most exhilarating or eventful age.  To me, 17 is a bridge--a gap year between "child" and "adult."  Whatever that's supposed to mean.

Because I'm not quite a kid anymore, am I?  I'm going to have to venture out into that big, chaotic mess of a world and figure out a way to live in it, whether I want to or not. In some ways, I've felt old for a long time.  I suppose I'm what you would call an old soul. I've come to realize the world isn't precisely what I thought (or hoped) it would be ten years ago.  There's still a distinct lack of magic and dragons, but I'm starting to see the unique qualities that make life magical in its own way.  


As humans, we're funny little creatures who create concepts like time and jobs and toasters and try to get on with life the best we can when we all know in the backs of our little minds that we're just a speck in the universe, living on a rock that's floating through space with aliens hovering in the darkness around us (probably). You can say I might be a bit of an existentialist, and I wouldn't argue with you.  I guess my thought process is, in all of this mess, that your life is what you make of it.  You create your own meaning and your own point to it all--there's no right or wrong way to live.  

It almost seems sometimes that I've fallen into a sort of wonderland, the ghost world of my future almost tangible amidst all the madness.  Those childhood daydreams of "when I grow up" are nearly close enough to touch, and that is as terrifying as it is exciting.  I am certain of nothing except that it is worth finding out what your life is going to be.


So what am I making of my life right now?  I have no idea.  It's passion, it's adventures, and a fair share of mistakes and mishaps that make the best stories in the end.  But no one has everything figured out, especially not me.  And I wouldn't want to.  I much rather experience life myself, down to the last millisecond.  Neil Gaiman wrote: "Face your life, its pain, its pleasure, leave no path untaken."  And I do not think I could give better advice than that.  This life belongs to you.  So go on and live it, would you? That's what I plan on doing. 


8 comments:

  1. Happy birthday Erin, I hope you have an amazing time! <3 17 was such a huge number for me, because it's an age where we are officially an "adult" in my country, and there are still so many things I haven't figured out. I think it's such an amazing mindset of just experience it instead of freaking out over the things we can't control :) Again, happy birthday and have an amazing year!

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    1. It was a really great day :) And wow, that's crazy, I couldn't imagine being an adult right now. But you're so right, experiencing all of the insanity is the best way to do it. Thanks for the birthday wishes and the comment, Tasya!

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  2. Happy belated birthday, Erin! Such a touching post. I'm not 17 just yet but I can relate to your post here. Starting high school has been A LOT. I worry about my future and if I'm capable of, well, adult stuff haha! I am glad that you're looking at life in a good perspective - I think that matters the most. <3 Have a wonderful year!

    anna | annaish

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    1. Thanks, Anna! High school is hard, but I would say to try and enjoy it as much a you can and do all the cheesy high school things, because you won't want to look back and only remember the stress of it, you know? I'm really happy you like my post and thanks for commenting!

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  3. Well said, my beautiful dancing queen! 😘

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  4. 17 is a bit of a strange one. But I think you're right about living life and making the most of it. In some ways I think it can be quite hard to make that decision, because it means accepting that some things you can't control, where as you can control yourself. I think it also means waiting, because the right things will happen at the right time. So yeah, I hope you have a great year of being 17 and keep on dancing!! (Either literally, metaphorically or both)

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    1. It is, isn't it? It's definitely a hard decision, but one I really try to live up to. And we will BOTH have a fabulous year 17 as dancing queens (in my case, literally). Thanks for commenting, Rebekah!

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